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It can be said that there are really only two important things in life: people and relationships. Businesses, families, churches, non-profit organizations alike are all based on people and relationships. Society itself is built upon providing services or products for people. As people we are drawn to other people we enjoy or who have common interests and we develop those relationships. People naturally want to be around people they like and enjoy. Who do you turn to for advice and mentoring?  The person with great skills but is unapproachable, or the person with strong relationships?  As people we gravitate to those who are approachable and kind.  Business is all about people forming relationships for common purposes.

As a manager, it is much easier to lead your staff when you are approachable.  When others know you care about them personally and have their best interest in mind, they are more willing to come to your aid and modify their behavior to achieve a group goal. Think about managing volunteers.  What is the leverage a manager has with volunteers?  Volunteers come together and work hard to meet goals for a common purpose.  Find the common ground of interest; build relationships on the common ground. Celebrate diversity and accept the differences in people.  Seek out the common interests, the shared goals and build relationships on the shared elements.  People are motivated based on relationships.

Think about it: if two individuals have equal knowledge, skill sets and experience, the individual with the stronger relationships will be the one promoted. In fact, you may often notice that the person with the least experience or weaker skill set gets promoted simply based on who they know (their relationships).

So, build rapport and credibility….and along the way build strong relationships. Give to get! Help others achieve what they want and you’ll find yourself in good relationships with others wanting to help you in return.  Relationships are THE key!!

Companies are naturally concerned about the top line, that being sales and gross revenue. Companies also worry about the bottom line, that being net revenue – what’s left after all the expenses.  Have you stopped to ask what’s between the top and bottom line? The middle line, the people that we employ: sales reps, admins, human resources, payroll clerks, marketing, communications, etc. Every one of those people, in between, are what matters most.  These individuals directly impact the sales and the net revenue. Every person’s individual role has an impact!

So much of business is focused on “let’s get more sales” and “let’s cut expenses” – which are real concerns that need to be considered – that companies often miss the importance of that middle line: the people.  Often companies will not invest in the training of their people; or it’s the first thing that gets cut out of the budget. Notice, I didn’t say companies spend money on the cost of training. Rather, I said companies often don’t spend money to invest in their people. When you are investing in your people, you are investing in Human Capital.  That investment demonstrates to your staff that you believe people matter, and that you care. What happens when you know someone cares about you?  You become more loyal to them. You work harder for them. You do your best for them.  By investing in your people, your staff, companies contribute to the development of a growth culture. Companies create staff loyalty. 

Studies have shown that Emotional Intelligence starts with self-awareness and moves out toward social awareness.  Emotional Intelligence is ten times more causative to a person’s success than their intellectual intelligence (IQ), and hard skills.  Emotional Intelligence deals with a person being deeply self-aware of their thoughts, words, body language, and social interaction. How much time do you spend, as a manager or team member dealing with interpersonal and personality challenges?  A lot! As a manager you know this is the hardest and most draining part of your job.  

How employees behave and interact with team members, management and customers can be a deal breaker or can be the icing on the cake! Our behaviors, if you think about it, all comes down to our internal thought system. Really!  It’s a powerful process. Team consist of individuals, and each individual impacts the others on the team. 

When people have higher emotional intelligence, they are higher performers.  To build a strong team, you need to build the individuals on the team. Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence.  We need to lead our companies with emotional intelligence. As leaders, we need to invest in our people to help them develop the emotional intelligence they need as well.  Yes, the good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned. As we develop our people to become stronger individuals, we build stronger teams. 

I promote a new generation of leadership. Leadership focused on the importance of people.  People matter. People drive our business, the relationships within our business, our customer relations.  We need to break out of the old ways of managing people by micro management; by telling them to fix all of their problems – focusing on their weaknesses – while not providing them with resources on how to grow.  It’s time leaders are taught situational management so they can coach their staff when needed; and create those high-performance teams that are highly engaged, take full ownership of their work and are non-leader dependent.  Isn’t that a business manager and a business owner’s dream: to have staff that can run themselves and the business so you can have a life outside the business?  

It’s possible. Developing organizational leadership is what I do for a living. Guiding executives and senior management team in their personal growth and development; and in turn working with the team to grow a healthy organizational culture focused on growing and high performance.  

When we run a business focused solely on sales and net profit, without investing in the people, we are limiting the organization’s sales growth and profitability.  To increase productivity, increase sales and obtain employee buy-in which will help bring awareness to cutting waste, success is guaranteed. Success in so many more ways with ripple effects that touch individual and family lives, communities, and the globe at large. People don’t know what they don’t know, we all have our blind spots. It’s the middle line that has a great impact on our top and bottom lines! 

If you want to improve your sales, if you want to cut your costs, invest in your people. I guide and grow your people to be engaged with positive attitudes and to get results without being dependent on their leaders. That’s what a high-performance team is: a group of self-leaders who take initiative to meet the demands that are required – because they know what it takes to get the job done. They have the confidence in themselves and in what they are doing, as well as confidence in each other. Building that environment is what I am passionate about doing.

I invite you into a conversation with me to discuss your organization’s needs and to best meet those needs. I will speak, complementary, at your organization to add immediate value to you and your employees, and demonstrate the importance of developing the leader within you and those around you.

Visit CandaceMae.com, email me Candace@CandaceMae.com or schedule an appointment at CandaceMae.com/appointments.

How much time do you spend caught up in the activities and concerns of others, that you really have no control over? What would your life be like if you didn’t get caught up with the drama around you? It would be amazing! Do you agree?

You are not alone. There are many people, unfortunately, out there struggling just like you: whether it’s trying to fix our children and the challenges in their lives; the things they are doing or not doing that we believe is best for them to do. Perhaps, as a manager or business owner, it’s trying to fix the challenges of coworkers or subordinates who are negatively reacting and not, in a timely fashion, carrying out their job responsibilities. 

Every business has employees who are challenging to managers and challenging to teammates. Perhaps they’re quarrelsome and not getting along with others which directly impacts production. There’s a strong possibility you are telling them to fix the problem; yet often no one is helping them understand the core problem that needs fixing.  People can’t grow when they’re only working with symptoms and band aids.  

Are we telling our employees to fix their issue, whatever that is, (not being able to connect and communicate with teammates; struggling to understand how to do a particular task in their job description, preparing and giving public presentations, etc.) or telling them to not to bring their issues from their personal life into the office place – leaving them to figure out what “it is” that needs fixing? 

I assure you, most people cannot “figure it out” alone. Most people are caught in a stream of negative self-talk coming from negative thinking that stems from false beliefs that leave them stressed, overwhelmed, stuck and confused. They are stuck wondering “What’s the next step? How do I get out of this circumstance? How do I get along with that other person, when they just press my buttons constantly, or my boss doesn’t like me?”  Most people don’t know how to rise above their circumstances and challenges – and aren’t sure whom to talk to or where to begin. 

While we don’t want to get caught up in the drama of other people’s lives; as an employer it’s compassion and integrity that fosters a growth environment where employees feel valued and safe, both physically and psychologically. As an employer, when we have the compassion to utilize situational leadership skills and employee coaching skills, we are able to embrace situations with our staff without buying into their drama; and in fact, we’re able to lead them to discover their own solutions.  This quiets the drama in the office and increases morale and productivity. That’s really important to know as an employer, supervisor, and manager: Knowing how to coach your staff when they have concerns and issues going on that are negatively impacting the team environment.  Having the capacity and ability to help others, in a holistic way, embrace what’s happening by coaching them to the point of root cause analysis – not counseling – not hand-holding – but providing them with the room to breathe and calmly think (rather than added pressure) increases morale and directly increases productivity. Behaviors are symptoms of our thoughts. Successful employers are able to coach their staff to the point where their staff can take responsibility to fix the core issue. It’s all about awareness.   

When you have a team, organization, or company, you are responsible to pull the people together to get the job done.   Let me ask you: what degree of responsibility do you have to help people that are helping you in your company or organization evolve to the next level; to become proficient in higher performance with you and for you and your organization? 

In order to be able to perform at a higher functioning level, individuals need to have six basic human needs met.  Successful organizations and companies understand these needs and intentionally develop a culture of growth where these needs are met.  These needs are listed in the table below. Notice that they are paired in sets of two  

Now you might be thinking, “are you kidding me? I’m not going to be a counselor to my employees, I’m not going to solve their problems. I’m paying them to get the job done!” 

You are indeed paying them to get the job done. You are not expected to solve their problems, nor be their counselor.  You are, however, being asked to embrace them as human beings that are valuable and capable of growing. To see then as a person who needs to be seen holistically, not compartmentalized and objectified as if they are an emotionless being hired solely to get a job done. Robots are evolving for that function. 

Empowering your staff with the tools to become their best selves lets them know you believe in them and that they are valued and yet accountable. Empowered staff have a sense of connection, certainty that you care, and grace to embrace their personal growth – which will increase their loyalty to you and your organization.  They will naturally, through the law of reciprocity, make a stronger contribution to the organization. This sense of contribution provides a sense of significance as well.  

The key is personal growth, there’s no way around it.  Each person, each team, and each organization, family and community benefits exponentially when employers invest in the growth of their people!   As people grow, morale goes up, communication is enhanced, production goes up, sales go up, it’s a ripple effect.

We understand at a fundamental level that people need to be trained in the hard-skills (Excel, programming, accounting, proper machine operation, industry specific laws and regulations, office procedures) for their job function. What is even more critical and more powerful, though, is to invest in their personal growth: the character development, the interpersonal skills of getting along with others and connecting with clients/customers to increase service and sales. These personal skills are a sure way to ensure expanded productivity.  

Be compassionate; display integrity to do what’s right – even when you don’t have to; and be authentic – truly exhibiting care for your fellowmen. Care about the people who work for you. Care about them in a holistic way by demonstrating that you value them and honor what is happening in their life. 

Begin by hiring people who are growth-oriented with strong values and work ethic that matches your company’s culture. Then continue to develop staff – that encourages long-term loyalty and retention of employees and knowledge. Are you interested in learning how to coach and develop your staff?

I offer a workshop on Coaching for Managers, Leaders & Business Owners which enables you to lead others to success through coaching. Discover powerful skills to dramatically improve your ability to influence those you lead to greater results in their business and personal lives.

• Learn the skill of coaching to build better relationships with those you lead.
• Coach others to success, rather than tell them what to do.
• Empower others to sharpen their ability to solve problems and achieve results.

Schedule an appointment today to discuss further: CandaceMae.com/Appointments. Or email me at Candace@CandaceMae.com.

Motivation gets you going, but consistency keeps you growing. Consistency is the key. Motivation doesn’t always last. Motivation is absolutely important; it’s important to be inspired, encouraged: its critical. Most people, though, may be motivated and then lose the momentum to keep doing whatever the action is that they were motivated to do in the first place.  Motivation needs to be consistent. In our performance, we need to be more disciplined and consistent. How do you do that? By knowing what, how, why and when. 

There’s four questions we can consider for helping us be more consistent in our personal growth. 

Knowing the what

Knowing the how

Knowing the why

Knowing the when

What?

Do you know what you need to improve? You must be able to develop yourself to be successful. Often, or most of the time, we see people with purpose who are inconsistent with their progress. When you ask why, you realize they have ambition to succeed and they show aptitude for their job, yet they do not move forward. So why is that? Because they think they can master their job and they don’t need to master themselves: that’s very common. What a big mistake. Your future is dependent on your personal growth. Improving yourself daily guarantees you have a future full of possibilities. When you expand yourself, you expand yourself, your opportunities and your potential. If you spend all your time perfecting your ability to do your job, the technical skills, you may not grow as a person. If you just focus on improving yourself, you will grow from taking care of people to leading the people. Growing yourself opens up your future, it will allow you to achieve much more than you believe is possible. A successful person does things a failure person does not like to do. A successful person doesn’t like those same things either but her dislike is subordinated to the strength of her purpose. She’s willing to do the things she doesn’t like because she knows it’s critical to take her to the next level.

How?

Do you know how you’re supposed to improve? Many times when we hear motivational speakers we were excited; we leave the conference all motivated to do something. Within a week or two we have forgotten what it is we wanted to do. Maybe we didn’t know how we are supposed to go about improving. So, rather than being a motivational speaker, I like to consider myself a motivational teacher. When I’m speaking to people, I want people to walk away from my teaching sessions inspired with the knowledge of how to proceed. To grow, most people need knowledge, experience and coaching. Do you have a handle on how to improve yourself? 

Here’s four simple ways to get started. 

1. Match your motivation to your personality type. Not everyone is motivated the same way, learn how you’re hardwired in your personality and leverage your personality type to get yourself going. If you want to know how you’re hardwired, reach out to me and I can share with you a test that you can take to identify your strengths. 
   1. The first personality type is the Stable & Steady personality, the strength is they are easy going and likeable. Their weakness is inertia. How can you motivate yourself? By finding the value in what you need to do. When phlegmatics see the value in doing something, it can be one of the most tenacious, stubborn of all personality types. 
   2. Dominant, Driver personalities or flourics is the second we’ll look at. The strengths are they take charge and make decisions quickly. Their weakness is that if they are not in charge, they refuse to participate. How can you tap into internal motivation? By focusing on the choices you can make, every person is in charge of his or her own growth. Choose how you will grow and stick with it. 
   3. The most fun loving of all personality types is the Influencing, Inspiring personality. Often the life of every party, their weakness is they lack focus. How can you motivate yourself to grow? By making a game of it, if that seems impossible then give yourself awards for incremental successes.
   4. “Compliant and Correct” is the fourth category of personalities: who are life’s perfectionists. Attention to detail is their strength. Because they desire to do everything perfectly, they are afraid of making mistakes. How do you motivate yourself beyond that fear? By focusing on the joy of learning details and the potential for developing a level of mastery over your subject matter. 

As you can see, every personality type has its strengths. You just need to tap into your strengths to set yourself up for success when it comes to motivation. 

2. Start with simple stuff. What’s the number one mistake of people who are starting as gardeners? It’s the same mistake that many people make when they approach personal growth. They attempt to do too much. The result is discouragement. Its important in management to not ask people to accomplish goals that they cannot accept. So set the goals that are worthwhile and highly achievable. Master the basics, practice daily without fail. We must have small disciplines repeated with consistency everyday. It’s the small wins that makes a difference. You might be reading a book, some other procedures or steps that you can take. You might want to break it into smaller pieces; do one topic a week and get really good at it. Simple incremental progress is where to begin. 
3. Be patient. Of course, im speaking to myself here as well with patience. We must be realistic with our expectations, realize that everything that we want usually takes longer than we anticipate. Every endeavor we take on is usually more difficult than it would be. Every project costs more than we expected. Have patience, all things are difficult before they are easy. Most people don’t realize how close they are to achieving significant things because they give up too soon. The people who achieve the most, are the ones who harness the power of patience and persistence.
4. Value the process. One of the best things you can do for yourself to learn to value and love the process of growth. Enjoy the journey. Life and business is a marathon, its not a sprint. Enjoy the journey. Life goals are reached by setting annual goals. Annual goals are reached through daily goals. Daily goals are reached by doing things which may be uncomfortable at first but eventually become habits. Habits are powerful things. Habits turn actions into attitudes and attitudes into lifestyles. 

Why?

Do you know why you want to keep improving? Knowing your why is critical because when you run into difficult things and difficult times, the why is going to keep you motivated. The how and the what only take you so far. When you run up against those obstacles, it’s the why that’s going to keep you motivated long after the rush of energy and enthusiasm wears off. One of the ways to judge the way you’ve tapped into your why, is to take a test. Your answer to the following seven questions will let you know if your why is solid enough to motivate you to consistently grow.

1. Do you constantly procrastinate on important tasks?
2. Do you require coaxing to do small chores?
3. Do you perform duties just to get by?
4. Do you constantly talk negatively about your work?
5. Do efforts of friends to encourage you, irritate you instead?
6. Do you start small projects and abandon them?
7. Do you avoid self improvement opprtutiniews?

If you answered yes to many of these questions you have not tapped into a strong enough why to keep growing. 

When?

Do you know when you’re supposed to improve? The final piece of the puzzle is the question when. The obvious answer is right now, today. You need to get started if you haven’t yet gotten started. More importantly, you need today to be everyday. You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily, that means developing great habits. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments, and that bridge must be crossed everyday. Overtime that daily crossing becomes a habit. Ultimately, people do not decide their futures, they decide their habits. Their habits decide their future. What are you willing to change day to change what you will be doing tomorrow? If you make small right choice each day, day after day, consistently you will see results. 

Earnest Newman says “The great composer is not set to work because he is inspired, but comes inspired because he is working.”

Anyone who does what he must, only when he’s in the mood or when it’s convenient isn’t going to be successful, the secret is following through. A lifetime of self discipline and self perseverance. If you develop the habit of success, you’ll make success a habit. Never forget motivation keeps you going, but discipline keeps you growing. 

This is what John Maxwell calls the Law of Consistency. 

I’m available for coaching.  I’m available to help you with your personality testing so you’ll know your motivators, and communication and behavior style.  You much know yourself to grow yourself!. Schedule an appointment with me today at https://www.candacemae.com/appointments/

What does it mean to show up? Showing up is different for different people, in different phases of their life. We can’t expect a single mother of four children to show up the same way as a woman in her sixties, right? They have different demands. If we look at nature, we have winter, spring, summer and fall. In the winter everything is barren, dormant and resting while the earth recuperates and nourishes itself with the weather. The snow melts and nourishes the ground and beautiful spring flowers and budding trees arise. 

This is the same for seasons in your life. There are times we go through rough spots and difficult times that can bring us growth.  Critical to this is whether we are managing our self-care. If we are taking care of ourselves through all the seasons of life, we are able to be nourished and grow.  If we are not managing our self-care, we could not benefit—we could be worse off. Self-care: eating properly, exercising, nurturing our emotions, mind and soul is critical. We have some emotional support. It’s important that we tools in all four areas of our life (Physical, Emotional, Intellectual and Spiritual) because that’s the holistic approach that will serve us well.

We need to nurture all four dimensions of our life – daily – no matter what season we are in. 

As a professional in the transformational industry of personal growth, it’s important that I spend time nurturing myself and discovering new tools to help me and also to help my clients. It’s always an exciting growth process – it takes courage to face my shadows: yet the peace comes from knowing myself and jumping through the hurdles to a better places is so worth the investment.  Self-care requires an investment of time, energy, finances, emotions and intellectual work, but through it all my Spirit grows!  

It’s important that we emphasize how you show up in your 20s may be different than how you show up in your 40s, 50s, and so on. People are starting to live longer than they did in the past one hundred years.  I now know of several people over one hundred years of age! Even my grandfather lived to be 100. Recognize that everyone shows up differently in their life in different seasons of their life. Embrace where your are in life. Be gentle on yourself. It doesn’t matter what phase of life you are in. You have a purpose. Maybe you’re in a difficult place right now and you don’t have a clue as to what to do next. Maybe you’re at the prime of your career or family life. Maybe you’re in the retirement phase of your life. Each phase is okay: embrace where you are.  Be aware of where you are.  

As yourself, “how am I showing up today?” What phase of life are you in? I would love to hear from you. Please comment on the blog post and let me know what season of life you are in. What are some of the challenges you’re facing? What are some of the ways that you are taking care of yourself? And what is the difference that you’re making in this world, at this season of your life?  

Puzzled, not sure how you’re making a difference?  Wondering if you’ve been putting your focus on the wrong priorities?  I’m here to help. Send me a note or schedule a complimentary coaching call to explore where you are and what’s next.

How many times have you heard someone say “I have a lot of experience in that area.”? How much experience do you think they really have? Is it the length of time that they’ve been doing something that gives them the experience? Doing something for a long time does not guarantee the quality of what they do is good. Do you agree? 

What really matters is the depth of their skill that evolved out of the experience they endured, went through or achieved. I suggest that experience alone is NOT what we learn from. It’s more about reflecting on and evaluating the experiences we’ve gone through and digging for gold in those experiences about the lessons we learned from going through those experiences.

We go from experience to experience every day. We can pack in so many things all week long, day after day, month after month, year after year. We are so busy going from one experience to the next that we don’t really stop to think about our successes or even those failures or harder situations we had to work through. What was the good that came out of those? Was something learned or did you merely endure, rush through it, or enjoy it? Truly, pausing to reflect and evaluate the experiences at the end of each day is where the jewels of life are found. If we can learn from our experience – if we can take time to sit down with a pen and paper and write out what we learned; what the good things were – that’s when we gain momentum and empowerment to repeat those success or identify the pitfalls. We can look for patterns in our life, what did I do that brought success to me? In that process you’ll see a pattern of behavior that will bring you success. We each have our own patterns. That’s why we need to reflect and evaluate. 

We all go through negative situations or hardships. There is no reason to feel ashamed for going through a hard time in life, it doesn’t define you. It can certainly grow and stretch you, or it can just burn you out. You can become angry, depressed and resentful. Or you can learn from those experiences and put measures in place not to repeat them. It’s your choice. 

You have a choice of how you live your life, you have a choice to be intentional with what you are doing; how you’re spending your time; and how you’re reflecting on the things you go through; what those things mean and focus on the good things. Ask yourself: What did I do well? What didn’t I do well? How did I respond to that person? What could I do better the next time?

Take some time and look back. I’ve been through several things in my life. More specifically, I’ve been through divorce. What did I contribute in those relationships? What part of that was my responsibility? In every situation we have a part we play. It’s important to reflect on the part that you played.  To be successful and avoid being a victim, it is important to identify your responsibility however small. You can only change what you can control. What you can control is what you are responsible for.

What is the part that you are playing? How are you showing up?

I’ve been through family illnesses and there is an impact that these illnesses have on the individual who is ill as well as the people and family around them. The struggle is real. Whether those illnesses were physical or mental in nature, there are ramifications. How we respond to those situations is critical. When we have someone we love who has a substance or alcohol abuse, the impact goes far beyond just that individual addict. 

Those are some experiences many go through in life. They can be defining life moments.  How we respond and react, and how we relate to others matters. People Matter! You Matter! There are more people in life who are affected in similar ways. If you are feeling alone in right now, please realize you are not alone. There is help. Celebrate Recovery; Al-Anon for family and friends of alcoholics. Alcoholics-Anonymous or Narcotics-Anonymous for the addict. It’s worth taking time to reflect. Reflect on your life, reflect on the experiences you have. Just going through experiences alone does not necessarily teach us. 

Its evaluated experiences where the growth really kicks in. 

I recommend you spend some time jotting down some questions of what you need to think about. Everyone is in a different stage of life. You could be in an early stage of adulthood. You could be single. Maybe you’re married; or you have young children, teenagers or grown children: maybe some of each! Many have been married for many years: e.g. 20-47 years. Everyone is at different stages of life; and each stage of life is a wonderful place to be. Right where you are is where you’re supposed to be and it’s a wonderful place. Find gratitude for where are: even in the rough spots. Take 10-15 minutes at the end of each day to think about what is it that’s happening – what’s good and what can I learn?

Merely 10-minutes at the end of your day to reflect can change the trajectory of your life. Take some time quarterly to look at your life and values. Are you living out your values? Have you identified your values Do you say family is important to you? How much time are you spending time with your family? Who is your family? Is it just you; an immediate spouse, are your children at home, or grown? What about your parents? Do you have multi-generations in your home? Do they have a place in your life? There’s no judgment: it’s your life – you get to design how you live. Carve out time to reflect. Are you so busy you don’t have an opportunity to really sit and look at how your values are played out in your life?  STOP – carve out the time!

How are you growing daily? Is there someone in your life you need to forgive? Who is that? Who do you need to give grace to? Could it be yourself? Who in your life do you need to take time and thank? Who in your life should be receiving more, or less, of your time? Do you value the people in your life? Are you tolerating toxic people in your life? If you value these people, do they know you value them? How are you showing up in the eyes of others and in your eyes?  You can’t give what you don’t have: so take time to take care of yourself too! 

These are interesting questions. Those of you who are approaching the second half of your life, such as myself, it’s really important that we understand what we want the second half of our life to look like. Unless we take time to reflect on where we are at this point, we’re not going to be very deliberate in the second half of our lives. 

Do you understand what you want to do with the second half of your life? Can you identify that goal or purpose in one or two sentences? What’s your passion? Now that your children are grown and much of life’s demands are past, what do you do uncommonly well? What have you done really well or achieved? Do you know how you’re hard-wired with your personality; your communication style; your skills sets, and other  tendencies? All of those are important: and you can leverage your strengths – when you know what they are – so that you can really make the most of the rest of your life.

Again, I encourage you to schedule a time to pause and reflect. Ten minutes at the end of each day, maybe an hour or two every week. Maybe every 6 months take time to reflect on the first half of the year and where you want the second half to go. Make the time: just do it!

Think about where it is you need to grow right now: is it in self-management and getting discipline around your self? Self leadership is the highest form of leadership.   

I am available to help you if you want to reassess your values, your dreams and goals.

Are your ready to spend time designing your life? What your plans? I can help you revive your dreams and help you with the courage to take steps to reach those dreams. 

Find more information at CandaceMae.com   Reach out to me at Candace@CandaceMae.com. You can schedule a complimentary consultation at www.CandaceMae.com/Appointments You’re not alone. I’m here for you.

So, once again, when you look in the mirror, what do you see? Realize that you get to be anybody you want to be, you really can design your life. You really have that power. People probably haven’t told you that you have that much power; but it is absolutely true.

Self-esteem is the single most significant key to your behavior. Nathanial Brandon said

“No factor is more important in people’s psychological development and motivation than the value judgements they make about themselves.”

Every aspect of your life is impacted by the way you see yourself. If you believe you are worthless, then you won’t add value to yourself. Again, you HAVE to add value to yourself and grow in order to add value to people around you.

Low self-esteem puts a ceiling on developing your potential. 

If you have a desire to be a ten in something but your self-esteem is a five, you are never going to perform at a level ten. You will only perform at a level five or lower. People are never able to outperform their self-image. As Nathanial Brandon says

“If you feel inadequate to face challenges unworthy of love and respect, entitled to happiness, and fair assertive thoughts, wants or needs; if you lack basic self-trust, self-respect, and self-confidence; your self-esteem deficiency will limit you, no matter what other assets you possess.”

You can never outperform your self-image. It’s important you take time to look at who you are and understand your true value. Consider the value of the see of potential you’ve been gifted. If you give that seed a little bit of nurture, you can grow into someone very powerful.

You can grow yourself into someone very powerful; with lots of great ripple effects into your circle of influence.  Think of a small pebble, it makes great ripples!

You don’t need to be too concerned about what other people think of you. In fact, what other people think of you is really none of your business. It’s more important that you are concerned with what you think of yourself. Give yourself permission to have thoughts of love and appreciation for yourself. You don’t have to accept negative thoughts from toxic people. Isn’t that wonderful? If you put value on yourself, the rest of the world will see that same value.

If you want to become the person you have the potential to be, you MUST believe you can.  You see, if you believe you can be or do something; or if you believe you cannot be or do something, you are right!  It takes the same amount of energy to choose healthy thoughts.  

Here are a few steps to building your self-image.

1. Guard your self-talk. Give yourself affirmations daily.
2. Stop comparing yourself with other people. Trust in yourself. Your mission is to become better today than you were yesterday.
3. Move beyond your limiting beliefs. We are always going to have hidden beliefs [some we grew up with] stored in our subconscious. It is our responsibility to train ourselves to become aware and conscious of those things that are buried within us and confront them with the truth.  We may need helping doing this: as it’s hard to see what’s inside of us. This of a bottle: it’s hard to read the label when you’re inside!

I want you to think about this: It isn’t what you are that will hold you back, it is what you think you’re not.

4. Add value to other people. It’s hard to feel bad about yourself when you are helping other people.

5. Do the right thing even if it’s a hard thing. One of the best ways to build self-esteem is to do what’s right. It gives a sense of satisfaction to you.

6. Practice a specific discipline daily in a small area of your life. I suggest finding a strength you want to develop further and spend some time everyday developing it. Along the way, celebrate the victories. Even the small victories build your self-esteem when you acknowledge them and give yourself credit for all the accomplishments you’re making.

7. Embrace a positive vision for your life based on who and what you value. If you have a positive vision for your life and take action, you will more readily recognize that your life matters. Take action and fulfill a vision for yourself.

8. Practice a one-word strategy. Select one word that best describes you. Once you see the word that describes you best, focus on that word. See yourself living that word and what that looks like fleshed out. What you focus on is what will expand in your life. If you could pick one word, what would it be? Bold, Brave, Courageous? If it’s a positive word, it will help you go in the right direction. If it’s not a positive word, choose another word – a positive word.

9. Take responsibility of your life. We tend to get in life what we are willing to tolerate. If you tolerate other people disrespecting you, you are going to get disrespected. If you tolerate abuse, you are going to get abused. If we think its ok to be overworked and underpaid, guess what? You’re going to be overworked and underpaid.

I want to remind you that you do have value, you do matter. Your life can change and you can make a [bigger] difference. I want to encourage you, no matter what traumas you’ve suffered in your life or what mistakes you’ve made, you can learn and grow. You can become the person you have the potential to be. You only need to believe in yourself to get started with action. Every time you take a step, think a positive thought, make a good choice, practice a small discipline; you are moving one step closer. Just keep moving forward and keep believing.

I believe in you. I am offering you a complimentary coaching call with me to explore where your current situation and what’s the next best steps for you: candacemae.com/appointments/
Schedule time with me, I’ll help you find your value and help you keep growing.

You were gifted wonderful traits that are the essence of who you are, by design.  Take time to discover your strengths, then embrace and own them. Accept those hard-wired qualities for all that they are and fall in love with yourself. Your self-worth (how you value yourself) is the lens through which you view the world. Embrace your strengths and focus on them. Appreciate who you are: the good, the bad and the ugly. Realize we all have our blind spots.  

Seeds of Potential

When you were born, a seed was planted within you which represents your full potential.  

There are things in this life that spark a flame within you.  Have you identified what makes you sing, and what makes you cry? Often you can follow this thought pattern to discover your passion; and it may lead to a purpose in your life that will make a big impact in this world. 

Realize though that many people may discover a passion and a purpose, but they immediately allow their inner self-talk to discourage them that it’s too big; too daunting and not something they can do.  Then they downgrade those dreams and settle for a life of complacency.  Cambridge Dictionary defines complacency as:

a feeling of calm satisfaction with your own abilities or situation that prevents you from trying harder; 

to have no desire to expand your horizons.

Take a moment to check-in with yourself and listen to what you’re saying to yourself. Our self-talk can be brutal and very limiting. We often tell ourselves we don’t have the ability or option to follow our dreams; or we’re critical about our looks and abilities.  I’m here to tell you that you can change your self-talk and increase your self-awareness and your self-confidence.  

Take time today to pause and observe your thoughts. By capturing your negative thoughts and replacing the negative with positive self-talk, you begin a new trajectory. Now, please understand, I am not asking you to ignore grief or sadness: it’s important to embrace those feelings.  What I’m challenging you to do it so observe the negative self-sabotaging thoughts where you are too critical of yourself.  You have seeds of great potential within you. In order for those seeds to mature and grow, you must nurture your mind and allow those seeds to germinate and grow. 

It’s important to become aware of our thoughts so we can truly love ourselves.  People matter!  You matter! 

As human beings, we can’t love other people until we first love ourselves. As we respect ourselves, we can respect other people.  It’s a simple rule: you cannot give away something you don’t first have.

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Are you seeing somebody who is worthy or are you casting judgements on yourself for failures in your past?  I request you be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace so that you are able to embrace your strengths. Do your inner work – take a self-inventory of your thoughts and your skills.  Find a coach who will believe in you and help you discover your hidden beliefs and put a spot-light on your false beliefs about yourself.  Just as the liquid inside the bottle cannot read the outer label of the bottle, you and I are not able to see our blind spots. I’d be honored to walk you through the growth process.

Remember, even in business the team is only as strong as the weakest link.  As we become stronger as individuals with clarity in who we are, with clarity in our strengths and we begin to strengthen our self-value, we become a stronger team member too.

Do you want to build a stronger team within your business? Call Candace Mae at (951) 565-1318 for a complimentary consultation. I can help you and I can help your team develop better communication, collaborate better and see significant results.

I believe in you.  You matter!